Negative.
Not pregnant this month either.
Next steps:
1. Adam gets tested.
2. I go in for the dye test that was described to me as painful…sound lke fun?
Stooooo-ork Where are you???? September 7, 2008
Still waiting for Mr. Stork to drop me a baby. =)
I guess I find out in about a week if I am pregnant or not. (Thursday is the day.) But I am starting to feel the symptoms of that time of the month. Hopefully I am just feeling the symptoms of pregnancy.
If not…time to get Adam checked and do more tests on me. So pray for us. We will need them.
Loves to all!
Pregnancy Pending… September 5, 2008
So I will find out in a week whether or not the femara and the HCG shot were successful this month. If not, then this coming month I will have to have the dye test to be sure my tubes are clear and also Adam will have to be checked out. Wish us luck this month since these last two tests are slightly….ok very… intrusive and we’d rather not have to go through them. =)
Much love…
Felt Left Behind… August 5, 2008
I know that this is a totally dumb feeling and I’m not quite sure why I am documenting…but I’m still going to. Here goes.
As I watch the people that I know and love around me with their children, I can’t help but see how they have grown tremendously through bringing a child into the world and watching them grow. It seems that just when they thought they couldn’t love anymore than they already did, they surprise themselves and love their children and their husbands even more. There is also personal growth and characteristics that grow within a person when they have a child – hopefully. Not to mention the amazing blessing a child is in the first place.
Anyway, when I look at all of this, I feel somewhat left behind. It is almost as if I’m not part of an exclusive club and my growth or other blessings are not mine – at least not yet.
I still have faith that one day I will have a child of my own. I still trust that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and my family. And I know that I can still grow as a person without having the blessing of a child in my family.
But I still can’t shake the feeling that I am being left behind…at least a little bit.
The Lord Knows Who I Is… June 18, 2008
That was a quote that I heard from the Primary Program down in Florence South Carolina last year…and for some reason it popped up in my head today, so I thought I would write a little something…
I know that the Lord knows me. I know that He sent his Son to suffer for us. I know that in the Garden of Gethsemane that my Savior (and yours) felt ALL of our pains and ALL of our sorrows. Recently, I had a distinct feeling that my pains and sorrow over not being able to get pregnant when I wanted to was one of the things that Christ bore in the garden. If he already bore the pain and the sorrow so that I might not have to, it isn’t ok for me to dwell on my problems. If I do, what am I really saying to the Savior and my Father in Heaven….Thanks, but no thanks?
That is something I definitely do not want to ever say to Them. While it is natural to feel some sorrow, I shouldn’t dwell on my problems but should serve through them.
I trust my Savior and believe that He has suffered so that I might not have to if I let Him take my sorrows upon him and do what is right.
I trust my Heavenly Father. I know that He knows what is best for me and the timing that is best for me. I know that all of what I am going through is for my personal growth. I hope I can continue to learn and progress in the Gospel.
Yes, I know that They know me – all of me and all of what I am going through.
What I learned this week…. June 3, 2008
Trials in this life will be all for nothing if you don’t learn anything from them. So I’ve decided to figure out what I can learn from this trial. I’ll be posting on this throughout the life of this blog. So, you will be able to see which weeks I have been a poor student and which ones I should make the honor roll. =)
I am not a patient person. Those who know me best, know this…and even those who don’t know me at all might have an inclination. When they were handing out patience in Heaven I think I was home sleeping.
I know what I want and when I want it. Which is good for those things that I have control over, but those things I have no control over I want to pull my hair out waiting…
Well, one of the greatest characteristics that all mother’s need is patience. This is a characteristic that I see in all of the awesome women and great mothers in my life – My mom, My grandma, My Sisters, My MIL etc. And one that I disparately need.
Because I have little control over my fertility (besides being healthy and eating correctly) and because It is mostly in the hands of Heavenly Father and is all about when He sees fit to bless Adam and me with a baby, I am slowly…and I mean slowly… learning patience. (My slow learning must be a symptom of that “Think Skull” or “Numb Skull” that I’ve been rumored to have.)
As much as I hate to admit that something is out of my control…this definitely is. And I need to let go and trust in the plan that Heavenly Fathered has for me. His plan is divine…mine is chicken scratch. Hmmmm…which would I rather have in the long run?
My emotions are sad, but calm and peaceful. I have definitely felt my Heavenly Father’s love for me this week. I am so thankful for that. =)
Not Prego….Period. June 2, 2008
Ok…period-o came today. Started this morning. Bummer. I am going to start a new medication and see if that helps me any. This new one doesn’t stay in your system as long, but it doesn’t thin the uterine lining. So I will keep my fingers crossed. =)
My feelings today are that, yes, my situation sucks and I hate that I am going through it. But I am learning a lot, I am hopeful, and I am getting closer and closer to my husband and my Heavenly Father. So all in all, not a horrible situation. Just a hard one. =)
Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, fasting, love, and everything. We have felt it and we are very grateful for such wonderful friends and family. Loves!
Emo Roller Coaster…. May 25, 2008
So there are no updates yet…we are just waiting. I suppose it is a not so good thing that physically I don’t feel any different. I get a little tired recently but that could just be because I haven’t been exercising. =) Hope I am wrong…just don’t want to get my hopes up. I think that is the hardest thing…the emotional roller coaster. Right now though, things are fine and if I were on a roller coaster, I’d be giggling. =)
OUCH! May 18, 2008
So I went back on Friday and the follicle wasn’t too big but my uterine lining hadn’t gotten thick enough either. They gave me the injection to make me ovulate anyway. They inject the medicine into your stomach….OUCH! I dunno why, but this hurt so much worse than anything I had ever gotten before. I think it may have been because I psyched myself out because of the shot…but that is weird since I can watch the needle go into my arm when I give blood. There is just something kinda weird about watching a needle go into your tummy. I started cramping pretty much right after that, but I think that was all in my head too since I wasn’t supposed to ovulate for 24 hours.
Hopefully by the time it needs to the embryo will have something to grab onto for dear life in my uterus.
Ovulation Update…. May 15, 2008
So today was the ultrasound. The surprise was that it was an internal one and had I been thinking I would have figured that out. Oh well.
I have one follicle that the doc says is perfect and at a 20. (Whatever that means).
The lining of my uterus is not thick enough to support the pregnancy right now. It is at a 5 and they like to see at least a 6 or better. Thanks clomid….it is one of the side effects of the drug.
So if they were to give me the injection, I might conceive but then lose the baby because of the lining problem. So we wait and do the same thing again tomorrow. I know it will be internal this time so I can prepare mentally. If my uterus lining has thickened and the follicle is still in the perfect range (20-24) then it is a go for the injection of the HCG.
There is a chance that the follicle will over-mature by that time or a chance that the lining will not thicken and then we will have to wait until next month.
I’m feeling like I’m fighting a losing battle right now. I still have hope that it will happen someday, but I’m still a little down.
Till tomorrow….
